DygiScape

Being Civil Doesn’t Always Pay

For a while now, some of you know that I’ve made some mistakes with my past relationship. First of which is being too civil and reasonable. To some, that means “whipped,” to me, I’ve made compromises and have maintained flexibility. The only problem was the other person was too stubborn, thus resulting in more drama later.

I’ve given this individual more than reasonable notice to change their direct deposits and get their own health insurance, and to cease any further activity from my bank account. With the intention of not becoming an asshole, I facilitated my own demise in the situation. I figured being a nice guy, it would pay off — think again.

Of course now, on my vacation, I have the time to tie all my loose ends. Not really the first thing someone wants to do on their vacation, but it had to get done.

You know what’s funny? The fact I blinded myself from acknowledging this problem from happening. I mean I can give advice to others who are in my situation, but I didn’t have the awareness of seeing this unfold. For instance, for the last few months of our relationship, every discussion started out about money. It was sickening to say the least. It resulted in me volunteering her $215 cash out of my goodwill, and let her use the account for hotel stays along the way back home. It was “reasonable,” and certainly not the worst that I could have done.

More recently, I withdrew $250 from my own account to hold me over with things while I’m here and the very first voice mail I get is from her wondering where my money is. Then, she pulls some attitude with me about her money in my account, and later lies about creating her own bank account or even taking the time to pursue it. When under stress, her true colors shine so brightly, and to her it’s anything for a free ride.

Later the next day, I attended a wedding where we were mutual friends with the bride and groom. I called her the night before to confirm the date and time (which by providing me the location and time, it’s implied its OK for me to go). I get there, and not more than 10 minutes later, she (MoH) asks her minions (groomsmen) to ask me to leave. It wasn’t too surprising, but I was intrigued at the fact the requester didn’t have the fortitude to address me in person. Secondly, it was just so classy of her to bring her personal agenda into someone else’s wedding. I acted respectful and sent my regards to the bride and groom, then I left. Actions speak louder than words.

Later, I deleted her from MySpace (which these days means you REALLY don’t like them). Then changed all my passwords for my accounts. It was my mistake for letting her use the copy of Firefox with all my passwords saved. In addition, I switched my direct deposit from work, which only took a few minutes. Breaking off the cell phone from her account was quite nice, since she failed to pay the bill on time, and everything started out with “I thought …”

Then the excuses came. I received a couple text messages on my phone from her stating, “…if you want to talk about this like adults, then call me…sorry…,“which is really ridiculous. Maybe if you acted like an adult at the wedding, or an adult at any point in your life, you’d have the foresight on how your actions will be interpreted. Then I get the long-winded, zero paragraphs, broken-punctuation letter from her justifying her actions over the weekend.

I’ve learned vicariously through some contacts who were present at the wedding, that she just couldn’t get enough from talking about me. I mean, I know I’m a good guy and all, but it’s flattering to hear that I was the topic of discussion without me even being there. Thanks, I appreciate the smack-talk, but just realize that it only makes you look more like an ass in front of your friends. Besides, isn’t it more disrespectful to bring up your ex, while two people just got married?

Growing up is hard. I’ve learned my lessons. I’m actually glad this happened to me now. She was special to me at one point. But after her charade was over, her character really disgusts me. Second, being nice about money bites you in the ass. Money is money, it has no feelings. I can’t dictate what someone does and all I can do is control my actions, feelings, and tone with people.

For someone who didn’t want things to “end badly,” well, life’s a bitch, just like you. You manipulate people by playing the victim all the time while lacking responsibility during all of your tragedies. I made my mistakes, and I admit them; but you fail to do so. Your actions speak for yourself, your impulses, and your psyche. I may have been flexible and nice; but that ended Saturday at 10:15AM. Things are going to have changed. You get zero sympathy from me. Go on, tell your friends what a dick I am. Tell them something they haven’t heard. Surprise them.

Good Riddance, STFU GTFO, n00b.

When I’m not Working, I …

… don’t do anything. Okay, okay, not really. A co-worker asked me this today and I realized that I had to think about this. I’ve just been so caught up in work, I lost my sense of personality — briefly.

I really don’t have any interesting hobbies though. On my Friday and Saturday nights, I was with my friends. Now, I don’t have that network of friends, and I don’t feel all too comfortable making new ones where I am. I don’t know, because it just seems more complex than it is.

Right now, I live in a suburb of Leesburg, there isn’t anything to do or anyone to see for like 10 miles. And at that, I’m not looking forward to maze in DC.

In this moment of deep thought, I occasionally apply some thoughts from work to help me make a decision. Sure, it’s risky to meet new friends, but what about the risk of not meeting new friends? Yeah, I know, I get a little nutty sometimes.

So this weekend’s goal is to find a hobby. Srsly.

Financial Freedom: Chase and Orchard Bank

There was a time long ago when I didn’t have debt. I get to revisit that time again — partially. Two weeks ago, I completely paid off Chase and Orchard Bank.

Coincidentally, both of these were a considerably low balance ($200 or less) on them, but I looked at my interest rate and I was stunned. They were charging me 28% interest (Ouch!) on them and I paid little attention to it. Well, high interest can’t hurt me if there’s no balance, right?

My only question is do I keep the account open to have it reflect some (good) remarks on my credit history? Right now that matters to me, since I made some awful mistakes and still will be mending the financial damage I’ve done to myself.

I’d like to know what some financial pro’s think about me retaining a zero-balance credit account. Let me know in the comments!

What am I doing?

A few things. I’m a little busy with work and all, but besides that…

I added some basic blog comment policies here and listed my blogging disclosure. I’m trying to use twitter more and more, but the site is just so slow… (ack!). I’m also doing other stuff too but it’s probably not interesting. (…or is it?)
I’ll be happy to field questions from readers tonight. If you have any questions for me, share them in the comments.

So, I’m on this Body-For-Life Diet …

It’s actually pretty good. Body-For-Life (BFL) consists of balancing your proteins, carbs and fats to make for efficiently burned energy. Sarah and I started this two weeks ago, and I figured I’ll let you in on the scoop.

Initially, it it was difficult to find the right foods and all that, but we’ve accomodated. Eating six times daily (small meals) may sound strange, you aren’t extremely hungry or overly full. Included with this program is a “free day,” which usually falls on a Sunday. This day lets you psychologically and physiologically understand that there are no limits to the program , permitting you dine out if wanted.

This program directs you through a rigorous excercise so you can burn the fuels your ingest. The style of training is HIIT, High Intensity Interval Training. It’s suggested to do this intensive workout in the mornings for the most fat burn. I can attest that this style of workout really kicks my ass everytime — it’s a good kind of ass-kicking that you need though.

The program suggests drinking 100% Whey Protein shakes. LOL, that lasted for a day for me! It was like drinking mud (and yes my friends, I’ve tasted mud before). So I opted for these EAS Protien Bars. They are tasty, filling, and quick. I like that because I can quickly re-fuel without impacting my busy work schedule. Not to mention, the packages of them from Sam’s Club, $14.98 for a dozen bars so it’s generally cheaper than the shakes.

I’ve also noticed in my RSS feed reader, Jason Calacanis is also working out and blogging about it. Hmm, I wonder if we can make an online service that enables users to track their own progress. We can monetize it with targeted contextual and graphic based advertisements. Enlist a few experts to give dieting and fitness advice. Personally, I don’t like the sound of Fat-blogging, because it insinuates people are only there to blog about losing fat; when more importantly they are improving their only health.

Anyhow, I already have a decreased appetite, eating better, and I know I feel better.

[tags]Personal, BodyForLife, Protien, Excercise, Fatblogging, Blogging, Diet, Health, Fitness[/tags]

Time Management 101

Yesterday, I went to a time management seminar aimed to improve my time management skills. What’s was shocking was how much I needed this course since it was completely tailored for me. I validated my concerns for time management with the 13 other professionals that were in the same class as me. I took a lot away from this course, in my opinion, every employee at my employer should take it so we are all more productive.

Anyhow, I noticed a section of the class focused on the psychology of how one views and reacts to a task. The course material lightly hinted that of the Ownership Spirit but of course didn’t directly mention it. Here are my takeaways from this Time Management Class:

• Plan weekly goals that you would like to accomplish.
• Plan daily goals the night before (or morning of) to strategically plan your day.
• Don’t let your big projects be at the mercy of smaller stuff.
• It’s OK to say no to a meeting that is irrelevant. Get work done. (I found this rather funny)
• Prioritize your goals, ranked from Importance versus Urgency.
• Actively setting a plan for projects and deadlines will prevent urgent/immediate situations.
• Don’t just plan work, but also your life. This will prevent chaos from happening.
• Check off tasks as you do them, so you feel accomplished. The endorphins produced will motivate you more.
• Be consistent with your task planning. Use both a paper copy (day planner) and/or MS Outlook and keep them updated.
• Dedicate time for projects that require more time — strategic time planning will often yield this result.
• If you use a computer for work, consider putting up your Away Message or similar device that tells others not to interrupt you.
• There’s much more … but that’s all I can think of.

So, this class was awesome. I am already feeling more productive and organized. No more asking myself “What should I do next?” … w00t!

Girls Going Wild, is OK?

I am one for being progressive, but this story concerns me. Experts suggest that when young teenagers show more skin that it is not a cause for alarm for parents. WTF?

But some psychologists and child-development specialists believe nothing about the teenage drama has really changed. While young women may express their sexuality more overtly than they have in the past, for the most part, their behavior isn’t cause for alarm. It’s a necessary step in growing up.
(ABC News)

[tags]news, teens, society, psychology[/tags]

Top 10 Tech Towns, and I am around one of them!

Using highly scientific methodology as well as algorithms snuck out of NASA and Google, we analyzed cities across the US to find the top 10 places to get your geek on.

Source: Wired

Washington DC is on the top ten list. Thats only about 38 minutes away, so I believe the tech savvy bleeds over into Northern VA (NoVA).

[tags]Technical, News, Society, Geek, Washington DC, NoVA, Virginia, Sterling VA, Cities[/tags]

I got Tagged by an Internet Meme!

The popular blogging bug going around, “Five things you don’t know about me” is going around, and it got me. Shawn Christopher tagged me. Here goes…

1. I rode my bike into a large patch of cactus when I was 8 years old. That was a very painful memory!
2. I am from an Italian heritage, but don’t like a lot of cheese. (My family gives me crap all the time on this…
3. I have a scar on my stomach.
4. I met my girlfriend at a gas station.
5. Moving to Virginia is the first place I ever moved to outside of Tucson.

Along with this meme is to tag five others.

Sarah, Catch You Next Tuesday, Erick, Scott Hough, TimALoftis

[tags]Blogging, Internet, Trends, Meme, Tagging, Information, Personal[/tags]

Happy New Year 2007

I’d like to wish everyone a safe and happy New Year; and to please drive safe. I had a blast in NY to bring in the new year. I was located by the “W Hotel” near Times Square. There was over a million people crammed in to several blocks. It was nuts!

It totally rocked! We were able to hear the live music from performers from our hotel room; although, we did face the Hudson River unlike Times Square like we were promised (and paid extra for…)

Now that New Year’s is here, time to make some resolutions, right? It’s that time to reflect and set new goals to accomplish. Here’s what I accomplished in 2006:

• I found the girl of my dreams, Sarah.
• I was promoted to a higher position within my company.
• I moved away from Tucson.
• I matured - somewhat - and no long participate in petty juvenile crimes.
• I purchased a new car. (That was subsequently broken into)
• I was able to see and connect with my relatives in NY/NJ.
• I live with the girl of my dreams and see her everyday.

I guess I did a lot. I suppose I should also put on there, get in over my eyeballs in debt … but I think that might be a given in America today. So here are my goals for 2007

2007 Year-End Goals:

• Pay off all my credit card debt. (Luckily, I’m not at an impossible amount and is feasible!)
• Perform well at work. This includes doing well with a work and life balance, adapting to the position, and not to mention, innovating processes to function more efficiently to serve our customers.
• Move with Sarah to a better financial fitting apartment (aka - downsizing); but still maintaining the same quality of life.
• Become a better blogger/writer. I plan on eventually getting into distant-learning classes online to obtain a larger skillset. (Keep in mind, I am one with no college degrees working in the professional environment…)
• Be Happy. Not that I am upset; but I want relieve stress, relax, and have fun. This will include concerts in DC and other fun activities.
• Exercise more. This probably falls under the previous category; however, our apartments do provide a great facility and I will be using it. Ideally, just 30 minutes a day. The results will be that I am active, healthier, quality of life increases, and a reason to go buy new clothes!
• Volunteer. I would like to give back to others by finding time to volunteer. It’s been a while since I’ve done manual labor, and I would like to work on a Habitat for Humanity or something “hands-on.”

That’s my plan. I am curious to find what other goals/resolutions people have on their minds. Feel welcome to let me know in the comments.
[tags]New Year, 2007, Resolutions, Goals, Reflect, Internet, Blogging, Web, Work, Personal, 2006, New York, Times Square, New Jersey, Holidays[/tags]