3/30/2005 01:39:00 AM|||Joe|||I dislike talking about work in my blog because I know that people seem uninterested in work. However after today I feel a need to write it down because I had one of the best calls ever, so I will talk about work today. I may be an evil asshole to you if you dont know my job, so in advanced; STFU n00b. Anyhow... moving on

So I'm comitting myself to a lot of OT every day for a fatter check and more Vacation time earned. Anyhow to those not accustomed with ISP call center environments heres some terms:


Available - This the best time to have when working; you literally get paid to do nothing. Utopian to workers, but pure hell for schedule management teams since they cant [possibly] pay you for nothing. Basically; no hold time, no customers waiting, not taking a call, just surfing and IMing.

Release - Hopefully you dont know this word as an end user meaning it was used. It means you are such a dickhead the person hung up. This is often a silent move in the middle of a customer's bitching.

Supervisor - These are what customers will often [want] to speak to override the customer service represenative's decision. They are god-like to the customer and you are just the gatekeeper. In reality, in person, a manager is able to do that but often respect is often displayed when requesting them.

Team Lead - These are the real supervisors customers speak to. Usually split up to handle customer service escalations, 2nd opinions from represenatives, and deliver communications from up above. They will often be very nice, yet will make a fair decision and will usually side with the represenative and show consistency.

Mute - The best button for customer service reps (and Team Leads) to use on calls to hide laughter or outbursts like "Idiot!". If this doesnt work, I will file a repair ticket for it and wait anxiously for it to be fixed immediately, and kiss the equipment person's ass and thank them kindly.

'No' - The word no one wants to hear, next to 'Hold'. They never accept the fact about how there are rules and guidelines in life. The people who fight it the most are usually the ones who whined to their parents when they were told No and couldn't accept their responsibility for something. They often will sigh like they are fighting a battle and will show that they are used to it. It is critical to remain consistent or they will keep doing it; even if you clearly explain it is a ONE thing. One more thing to add; they want their thing so bad, that when you offer a better solution they reject it and whine and will not negotiate.


Excellent (lol Dave) , glad we are clear on that. So, into my call today; We charge $8.95 for a music listening service, with some content members and usually we are very liberal in issuing credit to members if they politely ask for it, or give a just cause for getting it. Customers obviously never read the terms of service, or even the screen containing the sign-up process (its ok, we all do it... but moving on..). So, this guy was charged for it, for 3 months, account open for 3 months @ 24.95/mo. Revealing the credit screen let myself know what he will be demanding, [credit]. The guy said he was "fraudulently" charged $8.95 from us and was name-dropping VISA Fraud Department and hinting that he planned on issuing a chargeback on us. Well, I then know we (as a company) have nothing to lose at that point. The credit screen concluded he recieved about 92.75 in credits on a 3 month account! So his request was instantly denied when I said 'no' the guy thought he would be sly and bitch about additional charges (which were all valid mind you, with plenty of usage). So finally the guy catches an attitude and gets to accusational saying we raped him in charges and we are an evil company blah blah blah. Supposedly we arent supposed to go over with a customer on what credit they recieved - unsure why it lets them know we keep accurate records with them; anyhow, I informed him that we did credit him, well beyond what was deserving and he has not paid for (blah) in 3 months and some cash credit was refunded, and let him know what we have done. Of course no acknoledgement from him. So I was gonna get ready to clock out and end the call and get it over with and just leave notes indicating NO credit under any circumstances for (blah). So I gave him two choices where one is for me to cancel the service and thats it, calls over. OR which I already did, offer a free month but no refund. The dickhead said he wanted the refund but he's ok if I cancelled the service, well I was all "I'm sorry that wasn't in the deal" and he requested sup[ervisor]. Well, I let him, why...?... let me tell you about Mike.

Mike OWNS at all supervisor calls since he says the right things to the right customers at the right time with perfect timing and makes it polite, firm, and clean cut. I *love* getting supervisor credit requests and giving it to him since the due credit is $0. Aside from sup[ervisor] calls he is leet with his previous Military experience. (you may for your blog if you got one)

Anyhow so the guy coudn't accept that he will need to the god damn $9 and learn from it, and he was threatening to chargeback the $9. So, here's how chargebacks work - we get a notice from the issuing bank about a formal request to deny funds and we accept. Then we put an outstanding balance (without additional fees mind you...). We normally send notices to the customer where they have a nice 90 days or fix it. Then it goes to repayment (internal collections lets say), then finally its forwarded to a collection agency for an unpaid balance; where if still unable to collect they will damage credit accordingly. So it wasn't in this guys best interest to go and do that; he could be he would be fucked - where me and Mike informed him of that but whatever. So in the end the guy when nuts and screamed his way to the release button.
What a hell of a way to end the day. :)

[update] Rachel Sup Call, Tech, around October or so of 2004 [update]
So most of our customers are complete Luddites when it comes to using a computer. I dont mean that they dont know how to specifically do certain things, but I mean the lack of a foundation on like clicking and moving the mouse. For those people, the computer is a daily battle and they never seem to learn since the keep focusing on what they CAN'T do vs. what they can. Anyhow, moving on, this customer called in because apparently we installed Spyware on her computer from 2000, and she wanted to be credited the cost of the call to get assistance from her computer manufactuer - HP, in the amount of $40 or something. I clearly set the expectations (it was my 'action plan' for tech at the time) about that we, as in the company, can only credit for OUR own charges, and certainly not anything 3rd party, and said sorry; and attemped to stay focused on the spyware issue which wasn't fixed because HP uses India, so that being said; the customer was pissed also. So trying to dumb things out for the 4th time about what spyware is, the customer requested a supervisor to somehow override me. I explained (as we usually do, and set the expectation) that the supervisor just makes sure I come to work but doesn't have any technical know how, since thats what I'm for. Still went to sup, so I went to Rachel.
Rachel was my...(how do I put it so I dont divulge info...) Team Lead in my department and was very supportive in my goals in that department, and has the excellence in her sup calls that Mike does with being friendly and having that extra condescending touch you need. She basically came from Mike's department and they both are 1337.
Anyhow, the member supposedly NEVER heard of spyware/adware etc, she apparently talks to neighbors in a 500-person apartment complex (yeah, like thats reliable info...), and we must pay the $40. Rachel owned that lady with building rapport that it does suck to have spyware and no credit from us. We offer tools to prevent it, but thats really it.

I miss my Tech days a little.
|||111217484445410592|||A great 14 hour day at work