10/16/2004 01:12:10 AM|||Joe|||How Things Would Be Different If Microsoft Headquarters Was In Alabama...
Author Unknown

• Their #1 product would be "Microsoft Winders"
• Instead of an hourglass icon you'd get an empty beer bottle.
• Occasionally you'd bring up a winder that was covered with a Hefty bag and some duct tape.
• Dialog boxes would give you the choice of "Ahh-right", "Naw", or "Git"instead of "Yes", "No", or "Cancel".
• Instead of "Ta-Da!", the opening sound would be Dueling Banjos.
• The "Recycle Bin" in Winders 95 would be an outhouse.
• Whenever you pulled up the Sound Player you'd hear a digitized drunk redneck yelling "Freebird!" and "Roll Tide".
• Instead of "Start Me Up", the Winders 95 theme song would be "Sweet Home Alabama" followed by an introduction from Hank Williams (Senior), Elvis Presley, and Paul "Bear" Bryant.
• PowerPoint would be named "ParPawnt".
• Microsoft's programming tools would be "Vishul Basic" and "Vishul D-".
• Winders 95 Logo would incorporate the Confederate Flag.
• Instead of "VP", Microsoft big shots would be called "Cuz".
• Hardware could be repaired using parts from an old Trans Am.
• Four words: Daisy Duke Screen Saver.
• "Well, the first thing you know ole Bill's a billionaire..."
• Flight Simulator replaced by Tractor-Pull Simulator.
• Microsoft CEO: Billy-Bob (a.k.a. "Bubba") Gates -- 18. Direct link to the WWW (World Wide Wrestling) Home Page.
• "Where's Waldo?" would be replaced with "Where's Elvis?".

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|||109791437110236952|||If Microsoft was based in Alabama...